Question 1: We have been talking about hurt for 4 weeks now.
Week 1: the theology of suffering
Week 2: Fred Katagwa shared about forgiveness and reconciliation
Week 3: We need to acknowledge the hurt in our life and grieve well
Week 4: A spirit of offense
What aspect this hurt series has had the most impact on you? How or Why?
What scriptures have helped you forgive and deal with your hurt?
In week 2, I realized forgiving myself was the hardest action I needed to do. It is easier for me to forgive others but when it comes to the pain I have exhibited on my kids, forgiveness is hard to swallow. In week 3, Mike touched a little about this step and then yesterday, he hit it even closer to home for me.
The other hurt that has been in the front of my brain during this series is the pain and hurt with my divorce. It wasn’t until I was reading Luke Chapter 6 during this series that I was able to see where my lack of processing in my forgiveness is… I don’t pray for my ex. I don’t pray for his life, for his blessings, for his future. I am selfish when it comes to prayers for my children. Why not take the time and pray for him and the courage, strength, wisdom and confidence when it comes to being their father. I know I need all of that and I ask God everyday to help me see those things and to encourage those things in my kids – why not their father?
Mike did a perfect illustration on Sunday about this when he expressed his heart changing when he began to pray for his enemies. It softens his heart for those that are not his friends. He begins to love those that hurt them like Jesus would and that is where my healing is right now… At least that is what I hope my healing will bring me…
I am one who tends to be extraordinarily loving toward others – but the reality is that the Holy Spirit highlighted – HEAVILY – after yesterdays message that I actually harbor a critical spirit that comes out in a variety of ways. I tend to jokingly pick on people that I don’t know simply because I don’t have relationship with them so I somehow justify those words because I don’t know them (e.g., people on TV, etc.). I even tend to become more critical of the ‘little things’ that my children do that are an irritation to me…just because they are simply an inconvenience, not because they require discipline. I know without any question that this type of a critical outlook on life is negative and lacking fruit. As a matter of fact, I feel that it will actually decrease my spiritual growth until I fully surrender that issue in my life where I’ve made an unintentional agreement with the enemy. I have and will continue to pray for COMPLETE healing in this area of my life! In addition to prayer, I felt that a way to resolve this issue in is to speak audibly with the words “critical spirit” anytime I catch myself saying or doing something that is contrary to how the Lord would want me to respond. Although it’s only been 24 hours (and counting
) this is an exercise – in addition to the power of prayer – which I feel will help me to actualize change.
So blessed to be privy to the Holy Spirit speaking through Mike!!
The main thing that I am hearing the Lord say to me in these weeks is that most often it is my choices that lead to my hurts and offenses. If I choose to believe what Satan and the world throw at me then I am accountable for the consequences in my life. Learning to “take every thought captive” seems to be a long, hard process in my life. As Christ frees me from the wrong choices He is faithful to fill me with Himself and the truth. Thank you Jesus.
Week 3 reinforced thoughts on Grief for me. Grief is a process. Don’t try to rush through grief; it cheapens the hurt and doesn’t allow for complete wholeness.
I feel like all of 2010 was a year of healing for Milo and me as we grieved the loss of our church plant in Indiana. When we found Grace Chapel in December 2009, our wounds were so fresh and new and painful, that I’d cry each Sunday, grieving what wasn’t any more, Why circumstances ended up the way that they did, etc.
But God has worked in me these past 15 months, asking me to forgive people who had hurt me; to embrace Him and quit wondering why and what if… to let His Joy be my Strength again. My future is bright because He is in my daily walk. He has a plan for my life.
I’ve copied these verses in my journal and they’ve helped me in my journey of healing:
Psalm 126:4-6 states, “Restore our fortunes, O Lord; like streams in the Negev. Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.”
Romans 5:3-5 NRSV “And not only that, but we also boast in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit that has been given to us.
I just want to say that I am very excited to be a part of this discussion and I so appreciate the honesty of others. Thank you Stacy, Sandi, Judy and Bethany for sharing your journey! I hope you know that your transparency is an encouragement to me personally.
The HURT series has hit home for me. This has been an incredibly hard year and I have never felt so hopeless or discouraged. With all the happenings in my family, old wounds have been reopened and I am discovering all the those boxes packed away in the closet.
I don’t like my story. I didn’t choose my story. It isn’t fair, and it’s embarrassing and I don’t want it to be mine. I have turned my back from some of my deepest hurts because it wounds my pride. I know this is ridden with sin but it’s the truth.
The HURT series has left me thinking about many things but above all, it’s encouraging me to move forward in saying yes to Christ and allowing HIM to heal my hurt and redeem my story.
I could go on and on but for now I want to share a song that has reminded me that God is near and He hears. It’s also a reminder that this HURT world is not our forever home.
Blessings by Laura Story
We pray for blessings
We pray for peace
Comfort for family, protection while we sleep
We pray for healing, for prosperity
We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering
All the while, You hear each spoken need
Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
We pray for wisdom
Your voice to hear
And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near
We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love
As if every promise from Your Word is not enough
All the while, You hear each desperate plea
And long that we’d have faith to believe
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
What if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise
When friends betray us
When darkness seems to win
We know the pain reminds this heart
That this is not, this is not our home,
It’s not our home
‘Cause what if your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are your mercies in disguise
I found the blessings song two weeks ago and it has helped move me as well!!! Thank you for sharing your heart with us
I definitely could relate to the part about grieving. We keep hearing that we should just get over it and move on. Especially when it’s a relatively minor thing. In many instances when I feel grief, there are of course many worse things that could happen so someone, but that doesn’t mean I’m not grieving for something I’ve lost.
I’m reading a book right now that’s called “I’d rather laugh” which talks about the Jewish tradition of sitting shiva. For seven days the world stops and all you do is sit and grieve and are visited by others who want to sit with you and grieve. And it helps tremendously, since you don’t suppress the grieving process.
The spirit of offense – My husband and I have been talking about that one a lot lately (even before Sunday’s sermon). Sometimes we forget that we’re on the same team, and what’s meant to be a gentle reminder or a helping suggestion gets taken completely the wrong way and we feel offended and criticized. We have to remind ourselves every once in a while that we’re not out to get each other but there to support and help each other.
When Mike mentioned that he was going to talk about an offended spirit, my first thought was ‘this is not an issue for me’. I did pray though and ask God if I was carrying an offense and HE very quickly responded with a yes.
I asked Him to reveal the offense to me and then turned that over to Him in prayer. I have found that in praying for the people involved my perspective and ability to respond in love has changed.
Our God is so gentle in confronting us – I am always encouraged by Lam 3:22-2322 Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Thank you all for your authenticity and willingness to share! I am excited to see what God has in store for each of you as you open yourselves up to His story for your life.
wow these are all great posts from the ladies.
this last year was one difficult year for my husband and I. His mom passed away the day before mothers day and the journey of death is one we will never forget. In the same ‘time frame’ two very close people in our lives said some ‘hurtful’ words about me and our relationship became distant and strained. The grief and pain to us ‘as a couple’ has been so hard and so deep only God will be able to heal it. The relationships once were special and important now stand ‘broken and scarred’ by wounding words. This journey of grief has been one of many but it feels like it was the deepest. To say goodbye to three people in a year is huge.
Mikes messages have been awesome. Reminding me ‘I am not a survivor I am an over comer’. Let us all encourage each other as we walk this road called ‘life’. Blessings to you all.
I’ve missed the first few weeks of this series, but really appreciated this last Sunday. The phrase Mike mentioned that stuck out to me the most was “Our hurts shape us, but don’t define us.” I think this is great because it helps to put some perspective on past hurts, or hurts we are currently walking through. We all have hurt in our lives from one season or another, and they’ve helped us become who we are today.
I also appreciated the reminder to pray for our enemies, and not just in a shallow superficial way. It’s hard to have a positive mindset toward people we don’t think are deserving, much less pray prosperity and blessings into their lives. This was a good challenge for me to ask God to change my attitude toward those I don’t think are deserving and remember that God loves everyone, and through Him, so can I.
I’m no where over the hurt that has been going on in my life but hearing the sermon series has tremendously been helping me deal with the painful divorce my parents are having right now. After 28 years of marriage it’s been quite a blow not just to my mother but to her five daughters, myself included. Prayers are welcome in this as well. It’s hard when one spouse wants it to work and the other has done unthinkable things to make sure that will never ever be the case again. Plus he’s overall given up and moved on and made it clear he doesn’t care about my mother or his daughters in the hurtful bitter words he’s spoken.
Over the past four months I’ve been dealing with so much confusion and so much anger toward my father. Last weeks sermon hit me hard. This is no where over and I know in my heart that I want to forgive him but it’s really hard because it’s really broken my heart.
I know I have a God that loves me and I’m doing my best to Praise Him in This Storm.
I USED TO THINK THAT I MUST BE DESERVING OF ALL THE TIMES MY HEART WAS BROKEN, AND WONDERED WHY I COULD NOT PLEASE GOD ENOUGH TO FEEL HIS LOVE, AND WHY HE ALLOWED SO SUCH PAIN IN MY LIFE, ESPECIALLY SINCE JESUS WAS MY SAVIOUR. SOME OF THE ANSWERS ONLY CAME AFTER YEARS OF MORE LOSSES THAN I CARE TO REPEAT RIGHT NOW. THEN GOD BEGAN TO SHOW ME IN THE MIDDLE OF IT ALL, THAT I COULD HAVE AN INTIMATE, DAILY, ONE ON ONE, RELATIONSHIP THAT ALSO MADE HIM LORD OF MY LIFE. WOW! WHAT A CHANGE THAT HAS BROUGHT IN MY WALK THROUGH THIS FALLEN WORLD AS I BATH IN HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE! IT IS STILL HARD TO COMPREHEND,HIS KIND OF LOVE, SINCE SO MANY OF MY LOSSES CAME FROM PEOPLE, THINGS, AND SITUATIONS, THAT HAPPENED BECAUSE OF OTHERS CONDITIONAL LOVE. IN RETROSPECT HE HAS SHOWN ME HOW HE WAS WORKING WHEN I WAS SO DEEP IN GRIEF, HOPLESSNESS, SEVERE MENTAL, PHYSICAL, AND SPIRITUALLY ANQUISH SO MANY TIMES THAT I THOUGHT ABOUT SUICIDE! BUT GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR AND LAUGHTED AT ME. THEN REMINDING ME THAT I DID NOT BELONG TO MYSELF, BUT TO HIM, AND THAT WAS NOT AN OPTION FOR ME. THEN HE CALLED ME TO BE HIS BRIDE IN THE ABSENSE OF MY DECEASED HUSBAND. I WEAR A RING ON MY RIGHT HAND TO REMIND ME OF THE COMMITTMENT HE AND I HAVE WITH EACH OTHER. NEXT HE ASKED ME TO TRUST HIM AND STEP OUT OF MY BOX AND MOVE TO WILSONVILLE AND HELP MY LIFE LONG FRIEND. AND SINCE THAT WAS 10 YEARS AGO AND MANY, MANY, MORE LOSSES HAVE BEEN ADDED TO MY RESUME OF BEING A CHILD OF GOD, HE HAS KEPT EVERY PROMISE HE MADE TO WALK WITH ME ALL THE WAY, TO COMFORT, AND HEAL ME, AS IT FITS HIS PLAN AND SO HE WILL RECEIVE THE GLORY FROM MY LIFE. DO I STILL STRUGGLE? YES! DO I HAVE REASON TO KEEP LOOKING UP! YOU BET! DO I STILL CRY! WHEN I NEED TO I DO! HE HURT, WE HURT. WE HURT, HE HURTS. THANK YOU LORD FOR SHOWING US IN YOUR HOLY BIBLE, THAT YOU HAVE WON THE VICTORY, THE BATTLE IS OVER, SO THAT EVEN IN THE GRIEFS OF LIFE, WE CAN KNOW THAT ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER FOR OUR GOOD BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU, BUT MOSTLY BECAUSE YOU LOVED US FIRST!
Wow, Charlotte! I SO appreciate your honesty! I can sense the heaviness of grief in your story but I am so encouraged by your confidence in the Lord. Thank you for sharing.